There’s a common practice I use around the office called “Do Again, Do Better.” I learned this from my mentor, Bishop Brian Prior, the former bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Minnesota. After every significant event, the team and I sit down and provide feedback on what we would repeat (do again) and what we wish we could improve (do better). The goal isn’t to offer solutions to problems; instead, we want to identify the challenges that might prompt additional learning and lead to future success. Learning from these challenges is what transforms failure into success. Learning takes humility.
Humility is a concept that’s frequently discussed in various spiritual and religious traditions. The Torah describes Moses as “more humble than anyone else on the face of the earth.” St. Paul the Apostle identifies humility as one of the Fruit of the Spirit, and Jesus includes “the humble” among the blessed in his immortal list of Beatitudes. The Holy Qur’an emphasizes that “the servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk upon the earth with great humility.” It seems that humility is a virtue shared by everyone, but what exactly does it mean?
In my opinion, the best definition of humility comes from Christian theologian and writer C.S. Lewis, who says,
“Humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.”
Instead of trying to defend ourselves against criticism, humility encourages us to set aside our ego and embrace the feedback that facilitates our growth and development. Without humility, we’ll never reach our full potential and become the best versions of ourselves. The Tao Te Ching wisely advises us that “The wise man is one who, knows, what he does not know.”
Opportunities for learning are abundant on a college campus. We have access to world-class professors, coaches, mentors, administrators, peers, and chaplains who are all sources of wisdom that support our development. Whether it’s on the field, in the classroom, in the dining hall, or in the community, everything around us can become a teacher. Another source of learning comes from our mistakes. We often grow the most when we make them. Rabbi Jonathan Sacks wrote, “In the moral universe, success when it leads to pride becomes a failure; failure when it leads to humility can become success.”
We all make mistakes. We say things we shouldn’t, or could say with more grace. We offend others. We do poorly on assignments. We shirk our commitments to others. We don’t perform well on the field. We forget our obligations to others within our community. When we fail, we have three choices. First, we can ignore the failure and pretend that we are already perfect. Second, we can let the failure define us and make us think less of ourselves. Third, we can see failure as an opportunity to grow. We can learn, lean in, listen, and try a new way. The first two choices lead to dead ends, while the third is the path to innovation and growth. If you’ve never failed at anything, you’ve never challenged yourself. Don’t be afraid to try, don’t be afraid to fail, and don’t be afraid to grow.
