Well, Colin and I hope you had a great Homecoming Weekend. We certainly did. One of the things we noticed over the weekend, keen eyes for sports that we have, are the sports that people tend to create for themselves after a certain amount of fermented barley has entered their systems. These athletic visionaries have the inspiration and desire to overcome dizziness, blurred vision and often a lack of volume control, and produce events for the ages. Here are some of our favorites listed in this week's brand spankin' new TOP TEN!
10. The Standard Keg Stand- Always a classic. Naturally this tailgate favorite makes no sense in that one is sucking a liquid, which wants to go down, straight up, while one's body is completely inverted.
9. The Keg-Stand Vault- This event is interesting in that the participant is completely unaware that they are compet ing until the middle of the event. This event involves some overexuberant friends throwing a potential Keg-Stander over the top of the keg instead of holding them upright. Hey, if you can land it cleanly, the judges will eat it up.
8. Fire Jumping- Well, not that the others do, but this one really doesn't make sense. One would hope that the par ticipant is being coerced by some third-party organization, but often people come up with this one on their own. This event actually tailors itself to the flaming letter involved. This year the trick was to jump through the one of the dips in the W. For letters such as A, it becomes the Fire Dive.
7. The Burger Toss- Sometimes when you drink, or when you're stone cold sober, you just can't seem to hit the grill with those first couple burgers. This is fine because anything that the burger could pick off the ground will be killed on contact. Of course, what happens when you rip a pattie in half? (This event is not in any way based on the experi ence of anyone on the distinguished Sports Editing Staff.)
6. The Errant Football Toss- Excited by Trinity's win, many tail-gaters decided to try their hand at a little Hail Mary. This is an event that can end abruptly and the ball is, in fact, sometimes abandoned for the protection of its partici pants. The reason for stoppage in play is usually dented vehicles.
5. The 200-Yard Porta-Potty Dash- If you watch closely you'll see some great hip action from competitors in this event as they make their way with determination towards relief. This event is usually met with groans as they see that their expedience has only found them a long line of other competitors. This brings us to our next event. . .
4. Fence Archery- Sorry ladies, this sport is usually males only, though you're welcome to try. Seasoned pros can actually purge themselves of their watery affliction without hitting a single link in the fence.
3. The Hot-Dog Toss- It's unavoidable. Perhaps it's a frustrated grillmaster like the one mentioned above; perhaps not. Whoever it is, it's a hideous waste of food. But anyway, this event involves hurling uncooked hot dogs at unsuspect ing contestants standing around other cars. That's fine guys. Just stay away from the condiments.
2. The 3 Meter Radius Full Body Gyration- Well, yeah, it's a long one, but it is in full effect on Homecoming Week end. Usual participants are Beruit players trying to distract the other team while they are "shooting" at their cups. Of course sometimes people choose to participate for no reason at all, which is fine. It's anybody's medal.
1. The Filthy Snack Devastation Challenge- This event usually falls later on in the day once the grills have died down and participants are left with a half eaten bag of cheese curls. These athletes' responses: "What the hell? Why not?" They proceed to absolutely demolish the contents of the bag in a binge for the ages. There really are no losers in this event, so long as they are all satiated in the end.
