Feminist Interpretations: The Bond Girls

There's an aura of excitement floating around me at this moment.

No, it's not because it's almost the end of the semester and vacation time is coming up. No, it's not because Muppets From Space will soon be coming out on video. No, it's not because I've recently discovered that if I ever need a career to fall back on I can do clothed exotic dancing (which I guess wouldn't really be that exotic). Those reasons are way too obvious.

My excitement stems from an obsession I've had almost since birth, a thirst that is only quenched every few years. That's right, I'm a Bond girl at heart. James Bond is like heroin to me (except probably less life-threatening). I need my fix, and when those new Bond trailers start coming out, I'm hooked. The new one is The Word Is Not Enough with my third favorite Bond (behind the legends Roger Moore and Sean Connery), Pierce Brosnan.

Before I decide to shell out my $8 to go to see yet another Bond (I've seen them all), I had to analyze where my Bond obsession fits in with who I am and what I stand for. After some deep soul searching (i.e. two minutes of staring at the ceiling), I came to a great many conclusions. I will now account for those that actually have to do with the Bond films. I should probably discuss the other issues with a trained professional.

I've often questioned my strange Bond obsession. What's a free-thinking, self-respecting girl doing watching James Bond films? Isn't the whole series of movies just one big objectification of women? I considered these objections, but two explanations occurred to me. The first: lighten up. These films are entertainment and damn good entertainment. My second analysis, which is probably a little more thought out, delves much deeper. In my opinion, many Bond girls are the greatest examples of strong females. Let's look at a few.

Well, there's Dr. Holly Goodhead (charming name) from Moonraker. She's not only James' (we're on a first name basis) conquest. She's an astronaut and pretty good in a fight. You've got Honey Ryder from Dr. No who, while she walks around most of the movie in a bikini, has managed to memorize the encyclopedia and slyly exterminates her evil enemies. There's Octopussy from Octopussy who is an accomplished thief and leads a band of trained female fighters. I pity the group of men who have to fight these ferocious women. In the new Bond there's Dr. Christmas Jones (I'm sure brilliantly played by Denise "Wild Things" Richards) who's some sort of nuclear bomb specialist. OK, I've only named a few and it's already starting to look like some of these girls should get Pulitzer prizes. These are the good girls, mind you. Sometimes it's just better to be bad.

Who could forget Xenia Onatopp who could squeeze men to death with her thighs? What about Bambi and Thumper who worked as a tag team (gymnastics and all) to try to kill our hero? I could go on and on.

The fact is these movies have brought us some great women. It would be going too far to say role models because one can learn only so much from a girl running around in high heels and spandex, but they're pretty great all the same. They're smart, strong, and not afraid to use their sexuality in a positive way - to catch the bad guys.

OK, I know what you're probably thinking, at least if you've taken women's studies courses. In the end all the women sexually submit to Bond or are in some other way "conquered" by him. To that I reply with the simple "IT'S JAMES BOND!" I don't care who you are; this is the suavest man on the entire planet. I'd be in deep trouble if I ever had to save the world with him. If James turned out to be homosexual (which I think would be an interesting modern twist) no man on earth could resist.

Plus, in the end, it always shows Bond with his designated Bond girl doing what Bond truly does best (saving the world is a distant second). At that moment in time, she has him in her power. Bond submits to nothing but the good loving of a woman.

Now that I've analyzed much of the Bond girl phenomenon from a feminist viewpoint, I must now give out my very controversial opinion on the best Bond. From a female perspective it has to be Roger Moore.

Now those who are loyal Bond fans (those who aren't have probably given up trying to read this article long ago) might scoff at this remark. For many loyalists, Sean Connery is always the way to go. Here's the thing: Roger Moore is just plain nicer to the ladies. Sean Connery actually slaps a woman in one of the Bond films. Roger (we're on a first name basis as well) would never dream of actually hitting a woman. Sure he'll bat away Kung-Fu girls coming at him, but that's different. Plus, Roger Moore is just smoother and more sensitive. Yes it's true; ladies love the sensitive men.

Sure he'll leave the next morning, but when you're with Bond for the night, you're all he's thinking about. A bomb that will explode in Budapest the next day, let it wait. James just wants some loving.

OK, to recap: I'm a pretty liberal female who, despite all the misinterpretation of the word, is basically a feminist. Guess what? I love Bond and I will always love Bond. My mother loves Bond, my sister loves Bond - every female in my family loves Bond. The truth is these movies give us some great females, some great villains and some great entertainment. Plus, who can resist a little "Bond, James Bond?"