Never Shout When I Sleep

Don't get me wrong, I like Madden football as much the next man, but I have a secret: it's not real. Those little men running across the TV screen aren't really the embodiment of Shannon Sharpe; they are just series' of ones and zeros. So, when I hear the screams of a dying madman down the hall, I don't expect to pass an open room of chums playing video games, but it never seems to fail. I'm sure these games are a thrill, but let's face it, a touchdown in a video-game is neither unexpected nor out of the ordinary. In addition to quiet hours, there should be a regulation on exalting: no loud exaltation after midnight.

Poet Walt Whitman said "I sound my barbaric yelp over the rooftops of the world." I'm hardly one to hold a man back from his yelp, but as with all things, moderation and timing are the key. Yelling seems to be a particular issue in some of the freshman halls. Most of these issues can be cleared up by using a little common sense. Perhaps even a few examples would do us all some good toward furthering the public good will. Some great times to yell would be while watching an outdoor football game, working out instructions from your skydiving instructor in a helicopter, or when confronting the man who just ran over your dog. Some bad times to yell would be when communicating with any person in the same room as you, when you could walk across the hall, and when you finish a paper at 2 in the morning.

There are other ways to be loud, of course. One of them is called Korn. Korn is one of those new elements in my life that needs to be taken in moderation. I see and appreciate the point of this music. After one listens to Korn for awhile it deafens him to what real music sounds like. This music mostly consists of yelling, a subject I've already covered. Each of us is entitled to listen to whatever genre of music we like. There are very few who would dispute this point; it's one of the cornerstones of the society we live in. Korn, however is one of those bands that would be best listened to after ten in the morning, running on til about ten at night. In all honesty, it doesn't make good music to study by at three in the morning. In fact, I think it probably rattles the brain cells and hinders clear thinking. My roommate, who is quite bright and also listens to Korn, writes great papers listening to Pavarotti. And, of course, there's always something to be said for complete silence. Believe it or not, there are people who take long vows of silence to seek true enlightenment.

Most of this article comes out of a sarcastic bitterness. A good yell isn't really as abrasive as I've made it out to be. People should yell, it's a great way to relieve stress, and it's more constructive than many of the other options out there.

Remember the time and place. There's a great piece of wisdom imparted to us in the book of Isaiah, and it goes like this: "In quietness and confidence you will build your strength."

By choosing the proper time to yell one makes him/herself stronger and all the more savvy. So go ahead, call up an ex and give them a good bashing on the answering machine, or choose your least favorite piece of furniture and verbally abuse it. Turn up angst music until even your ears bleed. But the next time you score in Madden, check the clock; people might be sleeping.