Those of you who know me are probably surprised that I've never written an article on this subject before or maybe I have. I don't remember, and I doubt any of you do either, so I figure either way I'm in the clear. Now, as my title alluded to, I am writing about what is unquestionably the greatest ass in baseball. I mean, I'm talking incredible, fantastic, hubba-hubba perfect! To whom, you're wondering, is this great ass attached? Those of you with any baseball knowledge whatsoever will, of course, know exactly who I'm talking about. Yes, it's Nomar Garciaparra.

Now I can't lie, I'm not exactly a baseball fanatic. I don't follow stats, or care about who wins the World Series, with one notable exception. I am a New England fanatic, and more specifically I am a Masshole. Which means I am a rabid Red Sox fan, and I do indeed follow their stats and care whether they win the World Series. And since 2 summers ago, I also follow (literally) their shortstop.

Two summers ago I got lucky and I also got great tickets to a Red Sox game at Fenway, heh heh! But seriously, folks, I got to go to a game at Fenway and sit about 4 rows behind the Red Sox dugout. At some point in the first inning, I glanced up at the batter who was preparing to go to the plate. He was doing this weird, obsessive-compulsive tapping on the ground thing (which if you haven't seen it, you obviously never watch the Red Sox and I don't care about you at all), which interested me. But then I looked again - it was stunning!

There, right in front of me, was the most perfect ass I have ever seen on a man in my life (with the exception, of course, of Chris Hunt). Now this is no small matter - you ladies out there will agree with me that it's extremely rare to see a good butt on a guy. Most of them are sort of negligible, you don't really notice them one way or the other. It's a rare one that stands out as great. But this one did.

Now, it's not just Nomar's ass that attracts me. No, no, dear readers, there's so much more - the cute little way he does that bat-tappy thing, his shortstop skills, and the way he all-around kicks ass. But I have to admit, it's the butt that keeps me going. Unfortunately for me, none of the sports photographers seem to share this love of Nomar's butt with me, so I have been unable to get a good picture of it. And that, dear readers, is where you come in. If anyone out there finds a good one, please email me! In the meantime, I'll be sitting here waiting for the season to start so I can once again enjoy my fetish live!