Girl Question

By N. Alice Yamada

Chief-of-Staff

can always tell when a man has had a real girlfriend sometime in his past. He's quick, he's smart, and he's good at answering my questions. Sensitive '90's kinda guy? I don't think so. He's used to facing 'girl questions' and he knows what he has to say. His girl before has moulded his brain into that of a 'loving boyfriend'.
In times of crisis, girls don't want to hear the most rational answer from their boyfriends. We want the answer that makes us smile - answers that make us feel loved. After all, to make us feel loved and special is what boyfriends are supposed to do, right? If we wanted some logical, heartless answer, we'd go to our friends, the third-person party. We want our boyfriends to be emotional and to be protective of our feelings.
I'm not saying that boys should lie to make the girl feel better, but those successfully moulded boys feel and see things like the girls do. They, from the center of their souls, agree with the girl's ideal answer. Here's an example. My friend, Jed, has had a LONG term relationship. I ask Jed what he would do if he saw me, his friend, with a bunch of heavy books walking down the hallway. He says, "I'd help, of course." So, then, I ask, "What would you do if your girlfriend was expecting you home ASAP to go out to dinner?" His answer to that would be, "Sorry, Alice, I'd have to get home then."
On the other hand, my boyfriend, Eric, has not had a relationship longer than six months before me. I ask him them same question, only with his female friend carrying the books and me waiting for him. His answer to that before I started my moulding of him would be, "You're not going anywhere. A dinner reservation can wait. She needs my help right then. It won't take more than ten minutes. I'd help her." But, wait, this is the man who is supposed to make me his Number 1 priority.
So, I had a little talk with him. Painful, yes, but useful. As a woman, I have to make the effort every other woman has made sometime during their lives. MOULDING. Jed, my pre-moulded friend, has said, "Ah, girl question. I have been mutilated and slaughtered for the logic, but in a relationship, passion is the key, not logic." Right there is the key to unlock all the mysteries of womanhood. And some day, Eric will say this out of his own will. That day is the day when my moulding is over and he becomes a loving lover.