Pickup Lines

By Rob Churchwell Staff Writer

t's a tough world out there when it comes to meeting people. How do you get someone you're interested in to talk to you? How do you get them to find you more interesting than any of the other people around you?

Well, some people, in an attempt to circumvent the skill and interpersonal skills required for friendly conversation, choose to use what is known as a pickup line. Perhaps you've heard of these cute little ice-breakers. In fact, I'm pretty sure you have. Actually, I'll bet you've used one. That's right, you. It was probably one of the dirty ones, too.

As a service to those "playing the game," I've compiled a listing here of some of the most notable pickup lines that I've come across. Some of these may be a little offensive. The rest are very offensive. But hey, it's all in good fun.

"Pardon me, but may I show you one way pork is acceptable during Passover?"

"Hey those are great pants - do you think I could get into them?"

"Is that a mirror in your pocket, "cause i see myself in your pants later tonight..."

"Is your dad a mechanic, cause you got all the right parts."

"Oh my gosh! I lost my phone number....Can I have yours?"

"Hey Baby, are you into saving the environment???? Cuz, we can conserve water and shower together..."

"Say...Didn't..No..Yeah! Didn't we have sex before?"

"Hey Baby, if I told you I hated that dress, would you take it off?"

"You've been a bad girl ...go to my room!"

"You're so hot you make fire sweat!"

"You may not like me now....but you're drinking BEER"

"You know, you could use a little more protein in your diet....."

"If beauty was a crime, you'd be in for life...."

"Wanna go halves on a baby?"

"Hey there, how would you like to wear those clothes to work tomorrow?"

"I love every muscle in your body .....especially mine"

"I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I can make the BED ROCK."

"If you were a booger, I would pick you first."

"Those clothes are very becoming on you. Then again if I were on you I'd be cumming too!"

"Baby, when you walked in the door, I damn near grew a third leg"

"I'm a lesbian in a mans body"

"Hey baby wanna wrestle?"

"Do you mind if I come onto you?"

"I've got the F, the C, and the K. Now all I need is U."

"I may not be the best looking one in here, but I'm the only one talking to you."

"I couldn't help but notice I was staring at you...."

"You like Pop Tarts? Because that's what we're having for breakfast tomorrow."

"Do you want a drink? Well...get one for me while you're at it."

"Hi...my name's -------. Remember it...you'll be screaming it later."

"If I could be a tear...
to be born in your eye,
live on your cheek,
and die on your lips."

"If he doesn't show...I'll be over here."

"If you were in my dreams...I'd sleep forever."

Grab the person's nose then say "I got your nose and I'm not giving it back till I get your phone number."

"So, are you in second or third grade next year?"

"Hey Baby, I'm hung like a rhino and I suntan with only my socks on."

"HI I AM THE ONE THAT HAS BEEN STALKING YOU FOR THE LAST YEAR AND TRIED TO KILL YOU 10 TIMES SO GO OUT WITH ME OR DIE."

"Since we're both alone, why don't we 'pretend' to leave together? That way no one will think we were rejected and to make it even MORE realistic, you can come to my place!!"

"If your left leg were Christmas, and your right leg were New Year's, could I come up between the holidays?"

"Would you mind if I think about you when I masturbate tonight?"

"I've got a mosquito on my inner thigh. Will you slap it for me?"

"Well, I know you're flexible, but can you put your head between my legs?"

"Let's go behind the trees and fuck like weasels!"

"Hey babe, wanna sample my DNA?"

"Hey baby you must be a Campbells soup girl, cause you look umm umm good."

"I've got a shiny new quarter hidden somewhere on my body...if you can find it you can keep it!!!!"

Man- Do you want to play a game?
Woman- Sure...
Man- It's called Pearl Harbor, I lay down on the ground and you blow the shit
out of me.

"Hi, I've never done this before and I'm really nervous. I'm kind of shy, but I just saw you from across the room and you seem like the kind of person it might be nice to just sit down and say hello to. I mean, we could talk about our mutual interests, get to know each other, and then we could fuck."

"What's a place like this doing around a girl like you?"

"You're so sexy, you make my ovaries spit eggs!"

"Hey, you know I paid for everything you drank tonight, don't you???"

"My! You have the nicest teeth I've ever hoped to come across!"

Do you want to see something swell?

Wanna fuck like bunnies?

Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

Hey baby, let's go make some babies.

There you have it. Please remember to use these at your own risk.