Okay. This article is already a day past deadline, and still I have nothing to write about. I've discovered that the more I write the less I find I have to say. So, in a final hour of desperation, and to put off my French homework a little bit longer, I am going to write about my bag.

My bag is fairly new; it's one of those 'briefcase bags,' and I got it at the end of last year to replace my backpack. It's actually the same color and material as my backpack: black polyester with a brown leather trim. It's an L.L. Bean bag, and I'm particularly fond of it. My favorite aspect of my bag is its variety of pockets, such as: The big main pocket. This is the big pocket in the middle of the bag, and I put most of my books into it. It also has to pockets inside it, one on either side, and they are the perfect size for my folders. Pockets within a pocket. That's the kind of ingenuity you won't get out of Eastpack or those weird bright multi-color European bags (you know what I'm talking about). Another great pocket is:

That flap pocket. I call it the flap pocket because it's the part that flaps over and clips to the bottom of the bag. Now this is the pocket with the really cool stuff in it. This thing has hundreds of pockets. There's one that's exactly the right size for a TI-85 calculator, which is really handy except that my stupid math professors never let me use it in class anyway. It has a bunch of little pockets for my pens and pencils, although I put a pair of scissors in one of them. I know I'm not supposed to, but, hey, every once in a while you need some scissors.

There's one big pocket right under the flap, which I don't use much, except for this one time when I had some ethernet cable in it when I was flying home, so when I put it through the X-ray machine they searched my bag. I think they thought it was part of a bomb. The security lady also looked at my electric razor, which is understandable because it's pretty cool.

There's this other pocket though, it's sort of a part of the one under the flap, but I always forget about it and lose stuff in there. Every once in a while I'll be looking through my bag and I'll say, hey, there's a pocket here, and I'll look through it and find my checkbook. Then I feel bad for yelling at my mom when I couldn't find it before. My roommate calls it the porn pocket, because he thinks I should put pornography in it. He also calls the big brown leather chair in our room the porn chair, though, so I think it's just him.

I don't have time to take pictures of my bag and get them developed before this issue goes up, so I found some pictures of some other bags. This bag is an Eastpack backpack. It's not like my bag because it's a backpack. I'm not saying it's bad. It's just different. My backpack is actually an Eastpack, but it doesn't look like this.

This guy is holding a garbage bag. This isn't at all like my bag, except that it is black. I'll bet he'd rather have my bag right now because he looks pretty uncomfortable.

Here some more reasons I like my bag:

It has a shoulder strap
It has a clip for my keys
It doesn't litter
It never cuts me off in traffic
If it drove it would probably use its signal
It has never been convicted of a felony
It smells better than a skunk
My bag has never slept with my girlfriend
My bag has never dumped me, even though I have dumped my bag
My bag is never grumpy
My bag has never started a war
Its zipper has never broken
My bag is not a member of the Nazi party
It won't go stale
It doesn't sell anything door to door
It doesn't send me junk mail
It holds my stuff

In short, my bag is really quite a nice bag as bags go. I urge you to think about your bag, if you have one, and be thankful for all that it does for you. Oh yes, and if you are still reading this, I'm sorry about this article. Maybe next time I'll have something to write about. Like my shoes.