Carpe DM - "Seize the tray"

By Aybike Birerdinc and Liz Worthy Copy Editor and Staff Writer

e had been noticing them for awhile. Noticing "DM" etched neatly into the bottom right hand corner of many a blue plastic cafeteria tray. As these trays became more and more prevalent, and as they became the topic of more and more conversations, we came to the conclusion that we could not rest until the DM mystery was solved. After a little sleuthing, a day's work for two Sherlocks like ourselves, the identity of "the DM guy" became known to us, and an interview was agreed upon with condition of anonymity. The text that follows is the exclusive "DM interview."

Indeed, confidentiality was a great concern of his as was apparent with his opening remark:

"One of 17, I counted them in the phone book."

We, still fumbling with the tape recorder, were slightly confused until he clarified that he was one of 17 of the Trinity students with the initials "DM." Obviously, this number was safe enough for him, as the interview continued.

We began with the question that had been haunting us since early September:

Q: WHY?

A: I'm not a great man so I figure that I have to leave my legacy at Trinity College somehow and I figure what better way then to carve my initials on the tray(s).

We were encouraged by his honest demeanor, and relieved that our question was not in vain -- the DM endeavor was far deeper than the mere defacement of our lovely Mather trays. In fact our initial question had just scratched the surface.

The satisfying response to our first question led us to ask more in an attempt to pin down the details of the DM mission.

Q: When did you start doing this?

A: I've actually being doing it since the first day of the second semester last year, I was sitting around the table, I just picked up my knife, the D led to the M and that led to many other trays, its kind'a sketchy...

Q: Have you ever wanted to carve anything besides DM on your trays?

A: Absolutely not, I have never wanted to carve anything else, it's just straight initials.

Q: What made you start to do this?

A: As I said, I wanted to leave my mark somehow on Trinity College, I didn't think like, I won't be known for my grades, I'm not playing any sports here so, I wanted to be known for something, I wanted to be known as "THE DM KID," for generations to come, in case I ever send my son or daughter here someday.

Q: Did it start off slowly, you did one tray a day, or did you just start and keep on going?

A: I just started doing it at first ... I started at breakfast, that first day of second semester and I've done it every meal since then that I've been here, and I only do... I make a rule - I only do one tray a day... And if I get my own tray back in that big stack of trays then I put it back and I keep going till I get an unmarked tray...

Q: How often do you get your DM tray back? Has it been increasing over this period of time...?

A: Yeah it's slowly been increasing ... I would have to say that the most DM trays that I've ever drawn from a pile in a row was three and I've done that twice now, I did that twice actually in the last week so they are increasing, and I see more and more people with them around...

Q: Do you do double DM's or...?

A: No

Q: So that's not you?

A: No, why there's somebody double DM'ing?

Q: Yes...

A: Well if I find them I'll give them a beat down.

(So watch out you imitation DM'er out there, you're treading on someone else's turf!)

Q: Why don't you carve your middle initial?

A: Because my middle initial is "A" so it would be a swear, which wouldn't be a good thing, everyone would think that I'm just a cuss word man who can't spell, so I didn't want that...

Q: How long does it take you to carve DM?

A: Well I've actually gotten a lot faster at it... You can tell some of my earlier work from my later work, because my earlier work is more jagged but now that I've mastered the art of the knife, it's more of a smooth circular pattern, so I'm down to about 5 or 6 seconds per DM...

Q: You use a knife... Do you use the serrated side or the...?

A: I actually use the tip... Of the knife, it's gotta be the right kinda knife. You see this knife here has a little point on it, some of those knifes don't have the points so they just don't carve as well... And the new trays carve much better then those old ones, I'm very happy with Jon Small's choice of new trays.

(Jon Small is the current head of the Marriot food service, although we'd say that at this point he seems to be doing better on tray selection than entree selection... Might a change in careers be in line for Jon... We'll keep you posted.)

Q: Do you just stick to the trays or are you going to move on to the glasses?

A: I think -- I think the trays are going to take me till graduation because the way I figure they have to have a 4-5 thousand rotation, that's just my guess though, I'd really like to learn the numbers on that but ahh.. I think the trays will take me long enough...

(We felt it wise that he was so devoted and didn't spread himself too thin.)

Q: How many trays do you think are in rotation?

A: Oh I don't even know, I would honestly say, 5 or 6 hundred I would say, around that area...

(Although in Mather he restricted himself to trays, we wanted to know if we would ever come across a DM item outside the Mather walls.)

Q: Have you ever carved your name into anything else besides trays?

A: No - actually this is definitely my first act of vandalism... I've never carved my name in anything...

Q: So, you consider this an act of vandalism?

A: Absolutely, but I consider it artistic vandalism, I'm doing it for generations to come, I'm not just doing it to be a vandal...

Q: Do you consider yourself an artist? Does a tray become your creation as you put your initials on it, the same way an artist makes a work of art his creation by signing it? Can we make that analogy?

A: Absolutely, I truly believe that, I consider myself as more of a game show host, so that like when you come into Mather, Mather is a pretty boring place, and I'm trying to spruce it up, "oh look I've got a DM tray today," I've actually heard a couple of people say that you know, kinda becomes a game, who gets the tray for the day...

Q: Would you be flattered if someone else started to carve their own initials provided it wasn't one of the 17?

A: I would be kinda hurt actually, I would tell them to find their own mode of expression... But I mean, you know, everybody's copied.. look there's about five hundred bands out there that sound like every other grunge band in the world so who knows, I'm sure someone will do something...

Q: Why the bottom left and not the center?

A: It's the bottom right actually ... I don't know... I'm right handed, I guess it was easily accessible, I search for Marriot workers, make sure they're not like catching on to me kinda thing...

Q: What do you think they would do to you if they caught on to you...?

A: I don't know, I was thinking possible Chinese water torture, or maybe they might make me eat here like all summer or something, that would be bad enough - so I don't know... my mom worries that they're going to make me pay for all the trays...

Q: So how many other people have you told about this?

A: Actually, a lot more people know than I'd probably really like to know... 'Cause I have a lot of friends who don't necessarily have the tightest of mouths shall we say, they like to inform other people.... And also if I hear someone talking about it, I'm like -- yeah that's me... I'm the person who does that! So I'm pretty sure that I'm not the most secret person in the world, I'm sure other people do know...

Q: So how long does each tray take you?

A: Not long 5-6 seconds tops... Really, just a quick couple thrust of the fingers and I'm done...

Q: How long did it used to take you, when you first started carving trays?

A: My first tray actually took quite a while, I would say that was probably about a 20 to 25 second process... And I think I've kinda maxed out though, I don't think I could get any faster... Unless I was writing it, with a knife, you've really got to.... The hardest part about it is getting that first edge down in there.... And scraping that first line on the D that's the hardest part definitely...

Q: Do you autograph trays?

A: No, but I will if anyone would like me to... I really think they should stick me in Gallows bookstore, and have like little autograph sessions... Anybody who wants to bring in a tray... I wouldn't be against that as long as I could wear a mask or something... Definitely my clown mask...

Q: Have you ever missed a day?

A: Oh yeah I've missed a couple... My stomach isn't made of steel so like I can't eat Marriot food like every, every meal... So I do occasionally make that trip to the Bistro or the Cave... And there I don't carve because they've got the weird brown trays with the weird proportions all over them... So I can't really carve my initials there... Whenever I'm in Mather I do it... I'm but one man - what do you want from me...!!!

Q: Do you do two trays the next day if you miss one day?

A: Absolutely not... I'm a one tray kind'a guy....

Q: Where are you going with this?

A: I have no hopes or aspirations, I'd like to keep my anonymity...

Q: Closing statements?

A: I just would like to say that everyone should find a way to leave their mark on the world and this is just mine.... So find your own mark - don't do what I do... I don't condone vandalism....

Thank you...

And we thank you "DM kid," for making Mather life a bit more interesting and for setting a precedent for all to follow, to leave our own marks on the world.