By Frank SikernitskyEditor-In-Chief |
hen somebody buys a toaster, they plug it in. The shove bread into it. And then they wait until it burns a little.
If the toaster doesn't work, they check to see that it's plugged in. They may even go to the manual to see what the knobs on the side do. They deal with it. They RTFM, which means Read the The F-word Manual.
But when somebody buys a computer, some kind of miraculous dispension of common sense takes place. They no longer apply simple problem-solving to a difficulty, and rarely consult the manual. That's where I come in. I work on the trouble line at the College.
Given, some problems are legitimate. "My screen got bashed in when I stepped on it," is a legitimate one. "It's all fucked up," is not, and I hear it twice an hour. And the one common thread in all the calls...they never once read the manual. It is as if the College stopped requiring literacy for incoming students. A sample call...
Help Line : Hello?
Caller : Hi...uh...like I just got this new computer from you guys and like it doesn't work and like my father's really pissed because like he spent so much money on it and like I need it like so like I can use it.
Help Line :It doesn't work? Does it turn on?
Caller :Like, what do you mean?
Help Line :Does it make noise?
Caller :I didn't check...you know, this thing should work...
Help Line :Is everything plugged in the back?
Caller :Yeah...hold on...[pause]...yeah, Daddy says it is...
Caller's Father [in background] :Remind him how much I paid for this...
Help Line :Is it plugged into the wall?
Caller :Um...[pause]...Daddy, is it plugged into the wall?
Caller's Father [in background] :[Loooong pause] Oh, shhhhhhit! [Healthy brooong of computer starting up]
Caller :Um-thanks-bye-[click]
Unfortunately, computer ads don't help this situation much. Companies make it appear that all one has to do is drop two grand on a box and suddenly they've the HAL-2000 computer on their desk. Computers are tools, not the panacea for every problem of life. They are basically a very complex toaster that doesn't make toast. And they should be treated as such. The story related above shows the second part of this problem : that somehow, you don't need to read the manual. An assumption is made that because they are so expensive and complex, they do their own set-up and operation.
Well, they do not. Before one makes the call, one should take a quick look in the manual. Otherwise, people may hear more of what I say on the phone. That little phrase I always open phone calls with. The one that makes people feel two inches tall.
"Have you read the manual?"
