Frisbee Golf -
The True Sport of Champions
 By Ian SampleEditor in Chief |
kay, I am twenty one years old and I am not into football, I don't like baseball very much, and I rarely watch basketball. Hockey is as foreign as jai-alai. However, I am athletic (or so I believe), and I do exercise. I tried to explain to my girlfriend the other day how I worked up a sweat playing frisbee golf. I guess before I go very far into that I should explain the game.
It is really pretty self-explanatory. If you know golf, which I don't care for much, then you know frisbee golf. The addition of a frisbee, however, adds a few chaotic elements to the game. Any passer-by can grab or impede the disc's progress. This sucks, but it is allowed. Pars are determined by the whim of the day. Water hazards are declared arbitrarily based on how a loser feels at the time. Water can be tennis courts, parking lots, trees, or any other forseeable rough spot. The hole is determined by asking the creative question, "What can I hit with my frisbee?"
Around campus we have established a twenty hole course, since it is not true golf and we just kept adding holes until we were tired. Our common "holes" are trees and lampposts. Among some of our more obscure goals are the bishop (a statue of some old guy in a robe), the scoreboard, the cannon (supposedly pointing at our collegiate rivals), and home plate. So you see you have a much greater range of "holes" to hit than in "real golf" and this lends itself to the "betterness" quality one feels about frisbee golf. Mini golf has some pretty creative hole selections and because of this it is allowed as an acceptable sport.
We can clearly see how frisbee is a better sport than most others. First, you are never too sore after playing. Rarely do you cramp. The longest throw is generally no longer than ten yards past an average throw. Putting is relatively easy. You can throw the frisbee as hard as you can and you won't miss like you do in golf (Personal quirk: I can't stand missing the golf ball).
So back to the point, how did I break a sweat? Naturally, in any sport men are required to express their manliness and I do so by the rate at which I can track down my frisbee. In football you see testosterone through tackling, and baseball through spitting, golf through the length of your drive, and bowling is for the sterile man. Since there is not any real difference between the long throws and the short throws, we have our speed as a masculine quality. So this is what I told her, "I had to run to pick up my frisbee." Of course that didn't seem reasonable to her and I was in a fit of masculinity so I couldn't communicate a thing. Now it is all cleared up.
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© Trincoll Journal, 1996.