Campus Slang

An Imaginary Conversation

By Patrick W. Gavin Staff Writer

ith the popularity of email among college students increasing these days, the medium has transformed communication between high school friends when they descend upon their respective college campuses. When I arrived here at Trinity College as a freshman this fall, I, too, took part in the email craze, and I emailed all of my high school buddies at their colleges, and they emailed me back. It wasn't like writing letters, but it was communication nonetheless. And it was free, which was a good enough reason for me to use it.

A few months into my college experience, however, I noticed that both my high school buddies and I were talking differently. We had this weird slang going on. Each of the colleges had its own language, which was Greek to anyone who didn't go to that particular college. A few of these high school friends visited me in the past few weeks, and I could barely understand some of their slang. What the hell was "bunk" and "punani?" What does it mean to be "'bout it?" The language was muddy and I soon could barely even talk to my old pals. So I decided to do a little experiment. I emailed all of my high school buddies and asked for the campus lingo at their campuses. The response was overwhelming. I got slang back from at least 25 different schools.

In a few weeks, my high school has its homecoming football game, in which many of the guys I graduated with will attend. The dialogue will be nothing short than complex and humorous. I can hear the conversation now. Having put together all of the input from my friends around the country, I constructed what I believe to be the conversation at this upcoming high school reunion, all of us having our own unique lingo, bare with me, even I can't grasp it.

Scene: High school buddies reunite at their high school after three months in college.

Hamilton Boy:

So there I was, getting my groove on at a frat, and I ask the bro to strap me up with some pumpage. He was all, "The keg's kicked!" I was all, "Don't be a herb!" But it was kicked like Pele's soccer balls. So I was bout to bounce and get my grub on, but I wanted to know the 411 on late night.

Colby Boy: Yeah, that's sketchy. I was hanging out one night with a total tweeker who was wicked whoop so I started buggin and had to fade.

NYU Boy: Right on. I was chillin with this bitch ass one night, and bought some dank off him, which was phat 'cuz all we ever smoked in 90210 was schwag and bunk, but the fool was a trick ass and it was dry. I chased him out to bumblefuck, but never caught up with the bitch ass.

William and Mary Boy: Yeah, well I smoked mad yay-yo the other day. I had some softies and macked this hottie and took her back to the rack.

UNC Boy: You show her your dak?

Bucknell Boy: Yeah he did! I bet he made her his bitch! The other day, I was going uphill after spending all afternoon goin' go-ho on the quad, and some boys were on a crackin near by and I screamed out them, "Hey, Buck U!!" It shut their asses up.

Davidson Boy: You think that's whack: I was chilling with this yatch at a party, hoping to please my diya, but she gave me the heisman, and I was bummed. To make it worse, the next day I went to my Poly Class, and my prof put the strap-on with a quiz! It killed it me.

SUNY Boy: Well, at SUNY, in my acting corps, we've got our JAFAs and MOMOs and they all suck. The Campos are always bustin our plays because they think we're moving blunts. So after shows we usually chill out at the bean house or at some date rape central.

Princeton Boy: Yeah, well if Campos ever mess with us at Princeton, we just facebook our boys and get the fists on.

Boston College Boy: Damn, you're all a pissah!! Wickid pissah!!! I usually just walk around BC looking at racks, pimpin' it, kickin' it old school. Whatev!

Tufts Boy:Yeah, I kick it in the O-Zone sometimes.

ASU Boy: Yeah, but you all still snap, right? Just like old days? I still snap twice a day. If I don't, I get in the mood to deke something. Like some girl who's en fuego.

Hartwick Boy: Naw, whenever I want to snap, I just eat some Goo Balls or puff some shazzam. They're mint.

Virginia Tech Boy: I don't need to snap, because girls think I'm a bowler and are always jocken over me. But I just Audi outta there with my yatch.

Naval Academy Boy: Yeah, you're a salty. You're Semper Gumpus, kid. Have you worked your diya in the scuttlebutt yet? What about the P-Way?

Dickinson Boy: Chill...I think it's time we get the get on's. I want some muchum weed, or maybe we should just hit a stogue. Are we getting some punani tonight? I think we should, cuz you're all acting like a bizatchhh. Chill....

THE END

Dictionary please? That's my imaginary conversation, constructed from lists gathered by students at the respective colleges named above. I could give the definitions, but that would take the ludicrousy out of it, and plus, some of the translations are less than appropriate. After taking in all of this language, I've come to the conclusion that no matter how much English and grammar are shoved down our throats in high school, it just about goes to waste in college. If you thought pig latin was hard, try college lingo.