Common Courtesy

By Robert Churchwell

Chief Financial Officer

et's all have a little talk about courtesy. Courtesy is roughly defined as polite behavior, and as far as I can tell, it is nearly dead. I'm living on a college campus; supposedly we are all now on the cusp of entering adulthood, but all I see around me is people behaving like spoiled three-year-olds. It is at both frustrating and astounding to think that there are 17- and 18-year-old men and women here who can not seem to function properly in a civilized society.

Back in the old days, men were expected to open doors for women. Now, this is no longer expected by most, and in fact actively fought by many feminists. However, it is still polite to hold the door for someone, regardless of their gender. Furthermore, if someone, male or female, opens or holds a door for someone else, male or female, it is polite for that person to thank the other. It's called positive reinforcement. If you don't thank people, they will eventually stop doing it.

Now there is one issue in particular that I would like to address. It's a little graphic, but I believe it serves a higher purpose. There is one question that has been burning in my mind for quite some time now, and if anyone could provide me with a reasonable explanation, I would be greatly relieved. I honestly can't understand what is the apparently huge difficulty involved in flushing a toilet. I do it myself often, actually, every time I use one, and even though I do not possess any extraordinary strength I have, to date had no problems with what seems to me to be a very simple action. It's a handle, people. You push it. If it doesn't work, call the custodian of whatever facility you are in or fix it yourself. If people really enjoyed seeing someone else's waste, we'd all still have outhouses

Instead of going into detail on all of these, I'm just going to provide a quick list for the courtesy-challenged:

Driving:

Don't cut people off.
If you do, by accident, cut someone off, don't give him or her the finger when they honk at you.
Park inside the lines.
Do not park in the handicapped spaces, unless you're handicapped.
Even if you're just going to run in.
Use your turn signal. It's not just a pair of pretty yellow lights.
Do not leave your turn signal on for 30 miles.
Wait until it is your turn at a four-way stop (Hint: if there are other cars there when you reach the sign, it is not your turn).

Movies:

See this article: Movie Manners

Dining:

Do not clap and shout and sing in public restaurants or cafeterias.
Even if you are part of a group of football players.
This includes the birthday song.

This should do for now. Work on these few for a few weeks, and then email me if you would like anymore pointers on how to behave in modern society.