Notes

Searching for Intelligence in the College Party Scene

By N.Alice Yamada

Chief-of-Staff

s usual, I have come up with something to talk about -something that is disturbing me. Yes, the intelligence, or lack there of, in the college party scene. Since when did the perception of college life become this muck of beer and dope? Is it the '70's mentality still lurking in our system? Or is it just 'normal' to want to be walking in a puddle of spilled beer at some frat party?

I don't think so. On the contrary, I think that's stupid. I was wrong in the first place to venture into the cafeteria-turned frat party this weekend. Oh, what a nightmare the place was. Shit for music, shit for drinks. Somehow parties now-a-days are based on how drunk you can get your guests and how many times you can get them to hug the porcelain throne. WHATEVER. The first rule you learn if you ever work in a bar is to stop giving the drinks as soon as you notice that your customer has gone over-board. You know why? 'Cause if you give that one last drink that makes them peel over, you, yup you who's serving the shit, has to clean up the puke in the bathroom. Somehow when partying was brought to college, someone forgot to package responsibility along with it.

You now what else got me irked on the wrong side this weekend? This freshman idiot (He must have been a freshman, because no one else would dare talk trash as this boy did.) spilled beer on me and my friend and had the nerves to say, "Fuck you, it's a party." when he was confronted. Yes, it's a party. So what? Does being at a party make you automatically stupid enough to forget how to be a person? A simple, "I'm really sorry," would have been acceptable, but the young boy couldn't deal with being harassed by two girls. Oh, you know what his last words were, as he was carried away by his friends: "I'm gonna kill yaaaa----". Oh what maturity. I can't stand the thought of breathing the same air as this idiot. You know what, Willy? I hope you're reading this and I hope you know you are an idiot. Oh, I guess idiots like you can't figure out Netscape.

Okay, so this is becoming a little too Anka-esque with too much of a personal touch. The point is that drinking is cool and all only if you're man or woman enough to deal with the consequences. Don't be stupid, be cool. I like to have good drinks and I like to have good company when I do have fun. The moral of the story: don't be somebody's buzz-kill if you're going to drink.