She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup.

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man."

The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.

They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free

The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.

More Strange Stuff

1.If a ram is a sheep, and an ass is a donkey, why is a ram in the ass a goose?

2.If you placed a refrigerator in a climatically sealed room and left it running with the door open, would the room get hotter or colder?

3.Why are flamingo's pink and their knees are on backwards?

4.Could God create a rock so heavy that he himself could not lift it?

5.If you put gum over your asshole and farted, would it make a bubble?

6.What's the shortest route around an island?

7.If you are travelling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?

8.If you ate your own foot, would you lose weight?

9.Why do we park in driveways and drive on parkways?

10.What is Braille for "Braille"?

11.Have you ever thought of all the wholes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

12.Do babies think adults are cute?

13.If cats and dog didn't have fur would we still pet them?

14.If you unscrewed your bellybutton, would you ass fall off?

15.If you melt a pool full of dry ice, can you swim in it without getting wet?

16.Does a Duck with one leg swim in circles?

17.Is a frogs ass watertight?

18.Are the Kennedy's gun-shy?

19.If con is the opposite of pro, is congress the opposite of progress?

20.If Barbie is so dang popular, why do you have to buy all of her friends?

21.If you are standing directly on the line between two time zones, and it is 12:00 on one side and 1:00 on the other, is it 12:30 where you are standing?

22.Why do we call something sent by car a shipment and something sent by ship a cargo?

From the Lair of the BEASU - A Collection of Quotes